A few years ago, a Franciscan Sister of the Renewal attended a baptism I celebrated with another sister from her community. Both sisters were in their early 30’s and missioned in the South Bronx to work with the poor.
After the baptism, I had a chance to talk with one of the sisters. After making some small talk, I asked her how she came to her vocation and asked her to tell me her story.
She told me that she was raised in a Catholic family but was not particularly religious. Church attendance was limited to Christmas and Easter. By the time she entered college, she had completely abandoned her faith. Her college career was a distinguished one – she received a full athletic scholarship and was on her way to becoming a professional tennis player. That is until a group of her friends invited her to attend a Catholic campus ministry retreat. She normally wouldn’t go to something like this, but she felt she needed a break and some time with her friends.
Something began to stir in her on the retreat. She felt disturbed, unpeaceful in spirit, but couldn’t quite put her finger on what was causing this. She decided to spend time alone in the chapel where the Blessed Sacrament was exposed for adoration. For the first time in her life, she found herself praying, not just saying prayers, but really searching for the Lord. She then said to me, “That’s when Jesus showed me how empty I had become. That’s also when I knew that He had something better in mind for me.” It was a pivotal moment in her life; a transfiguring moment if you will. She began attending Sunday Mass weekly, tending to her spiritual life, and seeing a spiritual director. She finished college, but chose not to pursue a career as a professional athlete. Instead, she gave it all up to enter religious life and serve the poor.
What takes place on the mountain of the transfiguration is also a pivotal moment. From this time on, Jesus sets out for Jerusalem, fully aware of what awaits him there. The event of the Transfiguration is not for Jesus’ benefit, but for his disciples’. It has one purpose: to strengthen the disciples for what lies ahead. But for now, on this mountaintop, the disciples see Jesus most clearly; the fulfillment of Israel’s hope, represented by Moses and Elijah; the “beloved Son” of the Father, whose words must be listened to and lived. But they also see themselves in His light, chosen and believing, yet still uncomprehending of His mission and unprepared for what lies ahead. Perhaps, seeing Jesus like this, transfigured in glory, assures them that their faith in Him will never be in vain. But that does not mean that their faith won’t be put to the test. It will. Peter, for all his bold words and bravado, will fail Jesus in His moment of greatest need. James will go into hiding with the others, and John will be left alone to stand with Mary at the foot of the cross.
John Henry Cardinal Newman once wrote, “Conversion is nothing more than a deeper discovery of what we already truly desire.” Lent calls us to this "deeper discovery” of our desire for Christ, and be converted. God in His wisdom sometimes allows us to see who we are apart from His grace so that we might also see who we can become transfigured by grace. It is in those moments we not only realize how empty we have become, how far we have strayed, but also how much Christ desires to fill our emptiness with Himself. These are the transfiguring moments when, like Peter, James, and John, we see ourselves most clearly in the light of Jesus Christ and are invited to listen and to follow.
There, shining on the mountain and present to us on the altar, is the “something better in mind” the Father has for us all. Which is why the Father commands that we listen to Jesus, that we discover the fulfillment of our desire in Him, and stay the course even if faith should be put to the test.